Dear Telemarketers -
Thanks, but no, I don’t need:
a) my carpet steam cleaned, because I don’t have any carpet.
b) to know I’m paying to much interest on my mortgage, because I don’t have a mortgage.
c) my car insurance renewed, because I don’t own a car.
d) a great deal on parking in Lower Manhattan, because (see c).
e) a great new leasing opportunity for my car, because (see c).
Given the frequency of car and carpet related marketing calls however, I’d love it if one of you would call with “You’ve won! You’ve won our draw for a brand new Mini Cooper, and a townhouse in the West Village to go with it”, and would deliver it outside immediately. Then I’d be happy to talk to all y’all.